Monday, September 28, 2009

Meat Head

______"Zombi Holocaust"(1980)______

Directed by:
Marino Girolami
(Dr. Peter Chandler)Ian McCulloch
(Lori Ridgeway)Alexandra Delli Colli
(Susan Kelly)Sherry Buchanan
(Dr. Obrero/Dr. Butcher)Donald O'Brien
(George Harper)Peter O'Neal
Tag Lines:
"Not for the faint-hearted..."
"He's a depraved, homicidal killer...and he makes house calls!"
"Tonight The Dead Will Rise Again"

Jesus Christ, Italian zombie movies. Do you like Italian horror movies? Do you like gore and nudity? Do you like Lucio Fulci's Zombi? What about Cannibal Holocaust? Ever wanted to see them smashed into on film, with a hint of Frankenstein/Re-animator? Well then you got Zombi Holocaust. Also known as Dr. Butcher M.D.(Medical Deviant), this is kinda a strange zombie film. While in Zombi 2 they're in a jungle being attacked by the undead. This movie the Zombies are more like slaves. They're not really out to eat anyone, in fact they don't really even do much. Now, having zombies that don't eat people...that's boring, we cant have a zombie film without flesh eating. Well guess what? This has cannibals! The fucking Cannibals act more like zombies, then the zombies themselves.

Now were gonna have a quick history lesson. Lets go back to 1978, George Romero has made his sequel to Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead. Another famous horror film maker Dario Argento has been hired to make a European version, under the name Zombi. This is a great hit, and inspires many, many others to make films to cash in on this film. That brings us to Lucio Fulci, the Italian gore-maestro. He decides to make a Zombie film, by the name of Zombi 2. Made one year later, the film has very little similarities with Dawn Of The Dead, beside the big fact theres Zombies. This is probably one of my favorite Zombie movies, and is just awesome. Its about a group who goes to check out a island and stumble upon the dead rising up. This film gave birth to a very unusual movie series. Following Zombi 2, is Zombi 3; a sequel to a unofficial sequel to Dawn Of The Dead. This movie also like Zombi 2, has no real connection to Zombi 2. While Fulci did direct some of the film, its Bruno Mattei who really did more. Bruno Mattei is also the man who did the zombie movie "Hell Of The Living Dead". Now here's where I get fucking confused..So Dawn Of The Dead came out in 1978, Zombi 2 in 1979, and Zombi 3 in 1988. But Hell Of The Living Dead, who's alt titles are "Zombi 4" and "Zombi 5: Ultimate Nightmare"; came out in 1980. Yeah.

So the official series is Zombi(Dawn Of The Dead), then Zombi 2, then Zombi 3. But thanks to the company shriek show, we now have Zombi 4: After Death, and Zombie 5: Killing Birds. Not to mention the others that have been released as sequels like:
Zombie 3: Return of the Zombies
Zombie 4: A Virgin Among the Living Dead
Zombie 5: Revenge In the House of Usher
Zombie 6: Monster Hunter, which itself is a pseudo-sequel to Athropophagus

Now lets move on here; Zombie Holocaust, or Dr. Butcher M.D. This is a crazy fucking movie; first off I have to say how cool of a title is Dr. Butcher M.D. That's just a awesome name. Well the story is about a string of incidents happening in a hospital where cadavers have been tampered with, with pieces taken from them. The person who was doing it is obvious from the start, I actually pointed him out in the first scene where they find a cadaver with a hand cut off. I mean hes weird looking, but hes also starts looking side to side, and does weird stuff. Well the culprit, ends up being a former native of a island. He's caught trying to pull a Jason Goes To Hell on a cadaver and then proceeds to jump out a window. This, me and my brother(who watched it with me) has to see a few times. When he first jumps out it looks real..that is until the dummy hits the ground, and his arm fly off and slides into a corner. Seriously, the arm flies off. Only to have him with both arms fully attached in the next scene.You follow Lori, a woman who because of Dr. Chandler, is dragged into this mess. She is called in because of the mysterious mark found on the tribesman.The sign to me, looks a lot like the Honda symbol. She and Chandler are Anthropologists. Dr. Peter Chandler, who is played by Ian McCulloch; who was also in Zombi 2. Lori is disturbed as she is visited in the night by a thief who takes her ceremonial sacrificial dagger. The good Dr. sets up a expedition with his assistant George, a nosey journalist named Susan(Who was in the Jaws rip off Tentacles) Before They set off for their destination in the Moloto Archipelago Islands, they go to Dr. Obrero. Dr. Obrero helps tell them what they're looking for, where to go, and what to do. This is when Lori while changing is left a pretty gruesome present by one of the natives. Which brings me to another weird thing. Why is it whenever she is changing, they play weird funk music in the background, completely tripped me out when I heard it. Now Dr. Obrero lends them his servant Molotto to help guide them to the tribe of Kito, and also throws in a few Asian workers. Once again I already can tell something is strange with Molotto, maybe its the fact his name means he had black and white parents. The actor who played him, was also in Zombi 2. Also why is his name the same as the area he lives in?

This is where the movie kinda gets boring. I really wasn't expecting them to go off on a island adventure, I kinda wanted it just to be about some guy who's stealing body parts from hospitals and making a evil zombie army. In fact, let me remake this film; ill cast Jeff Goldblum as the Dr., and change it up a bit. No cannibals this time, he sneaks into hospitals stealing cadavers and pieces them up into Frankenstein Zombie creatures. You can have the hero's still be Dr. Chandler, Lori, Susan and George. Any who, they don't reach their destination, because the ship breaks down. They decide to get to the closest island and walk around. They call Obrero on the radio and he tells them of a mission not to far from them, and how hes going to meet them there. This is where things start to come off a little weird. Its not long before they get attacked by cannibals. While the Asians are killed in pretty gruesome ways, and George and Susan are dragged off. George is horribly killed; this scene has a pretty good eye gouging scene. Chandler, Molotto and Lori would have fallen the same fate if it wasnt for the undead finally showing themselves. You have a movie called Zombi Holocaust, and yet there is barley any zombies, and they don't even eat people. Now the zombies are decent looking; they look like the left overs from Burial Ground: Nights Of Terror, and Zombi 2. They head down to the Mission and are surprised to be greeted by Dr. Obrero..Hmm..

Well Dr. Obrero tells them about a dingy on the shore of a island. Chandler and Lori then go off for it, but don't get on because Chandler puts two and two together, figuring out something is a miss with what happened with Dr. Obrero. They head back to the Mission and find out that it was actually him behind all this. He made the natives go back to cannibalism; and he also created the zombies. Hence the name Dr. Butcher, M.D. He kills Susan, using her brain for one of his horrible experiments. Chandler is knocked out and strapped to a gurney; while Lori is carried away by the Cannibals. This is where shit gets crazy. Susan goes through a ritual where she becomes the queen of the cannibals, wearing nothing but some body paint goes and leads them to the mission where they stop Dr. Butcher and kill him and Molotto. Chandler and Lori embrace and the movie ends.

The movie is a strange one, its got the whole feel of a Italian zombie flick, and the fact it also has cannibals is a plus. The movie is hilariously cheesy and that scene where the arm flies off the dummy is probably one of the funniest things I've seen in awhile. The movies got a good amount of nudity, especially at the end where you see Lori bare naked laying in a stone tablet, spread eagle. The gore is also pretty good with some pretty memorable kills, like the spike trap, and the boat propeller zombie kill. You can get this via the DVD releasing company, Shriek Show in a box set along with two other zombie films. Overall I was kinda disappointed in where it went, but I was still very entertained while watching it, and it has rewatchability, especially if you have friends around.


Best Scene: The Dummy fall, or the Cannibal attack

3 out of 5

Alternate Titles:
Zombie Holocaust
Dr. Butcher M.D.
Island of the Last Zombies
Medical Deviate
Queen of the Cannibals
Zombie 3
Zombie Massakren
Zombies unter Kannibalen



Monday, September 7, 2009

Savagely Boring


____"Savage Weekend"(1979)____

Directed by: David Paulsen
(Nicky)Christopher Allport
(Mac Macauley)David Gale
(Otis)William Sanderson
(Marie Sales Pettis)Marilyn Hamlin
Tag Lines:
"You have been chosen. You are doomed. Prepare for.... SAVAGE WEEKEND"

Well its Labor Day weekend, a time were we all get a little time off to relax. So while your taking the day off, I'll be reviewing this shitty late 70's slasher exploitation flick. I had first heard of this movie through another reviewer, the Cinema Snob, who did a great review of it. It took me awhile till I actually got to seeing the film, and after seeing
Savage Weekend is one of the many slasher films that came out during the late 70s/80's with masked killers murdering people . The film, being made in 1976, 2 years before John Carpenter's Halloween had came out, the film was actually released in 1980's. Both movies about silent masked killers killing groups of friends, but unlike Halloween this movie wasn't remembered that much, and for some obvious reasons. This movie is the baby of a Mr. David Paulsen, being his first and only horror movie. Aside from this the man's made episodes of Dallas and Dynasty and a few other films. Which brings me to another thing. Ive noticed many of the people working on this film ended up being in episodes of Dynasty and Dallas around 1980. Just a weird little fact.

Now onto the movie. Savage Weekend is about a group of friends going down to the country to see a boat get made, and to have some fun. If you didn't know they were in the country then the banjo music in the opening credits, and throughout the movie will surely remind you. The movie starts with a woman in blood spattered white, barley wearing anything running off in the woods getting chased by a man with a chainsaw, it cuts off before anything happens, you probably assume she was killed. The group consists of Marie, a woman who decides to take a vacation with her new lover and their friends, to get away from her Ex husband. Then theres Shirley, the other sex crazed girl in the group who comes with her douchey boy friend. Then theres Jay, Shirley's boyfriend, and Mac, Marie's boyfriend. Then theres Nicky the gay guy. Marie is haunted by visions of her Ex watching her as she has sex with various people in the movie. Really thats all the people in this movie do, fuck, talk, and act awkward. Then theres Nicky who is seen in the first ten minutes kick some serious ass and provides some great acting and dialog. His character seems to be obsessed with Shirley, and hates her boyfriend. I would go more into the other characters, but fuck them they're boring.
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The main problem with this movie, is the fact its so boring. The movie probably would have worked better for me, if it had a little less talky, talky, and a little more killy, killy. I mean the killer doesn't even kill anyone until 50 minutes into this film. I would have forgiven it if it had interesting dialog, good build up, and likable characters, but sadly that is not the case with Savage Weekend. The only good character is Nicky, or "Mother Nicky" as he likes to call himself, hes the gay guy and comic relief. Nicky is played by Christopher Allport (Dead And Buried, Jack Frost 1-2) who does a great job in the film, and is pretty much the saving grace of this film. Sadly Mr. Allport died recently in a avalanche. Besides him there is David Gale(Fucking Dr. Hill from Re-Animator) and William Sanderson(True Blood and Blade Runner).
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The movie provides a lot of Red Herrings on who the killer is. The biggest being Otis, a man living out in the country who supposedly killed a woman and branded her with a H, because thats how he spells whore. He's often seen at a graveyard talking to dead people. Mac hired to help build his boat, which by his crazy ramblings you can tell he doesn't want to do. The movie also tries to get you to think its either Nicky, Marie, or Sam, one of the workers Marie tries to fuck in a really awkward scene involving a cow and milk. The killer wears one of those old shock masks, and kinda looks like a guy with pieces of flesh missing from his face. At first I thought that mask was stupid, but it slowly grew on me, then at the last minute I began to hate it again. He's the typical creep around, don't make a noise killer and there really isnt anything to him. Hes just there all of a sudden, no explanation. The kills are also pretty pathetic. With some piss poor hangings and stabbings there really isn't that much of the red stuff till the climax. Even then theres really nothing that great. the movie ends with the killer hanging jay, and ruining a rather interesting strip tease scene with Shirley and Nicky. Nicky is killed by a needle in the head, which sadly is quick and not that shocking. The real thing that pisses me off is you show the guy kicking some ass earlier, yet he doesn't even get to fight back against the killer, hes just stabbed and wham dead. The killer then grabs Shirley and straps her to a table saw. He goes to plug in the saw, but cant find the switch. He gives up on this as he hears Mac and Marie enter the house. He throws Mac out a window and reveals himself to Marie. Now remember me mentioning her seeing her husband as shes fucking right? Yeah well guess who the killer is. Marie escapes and runs off into the woods barley wearing anything but a white gown..Hmm déjà vu..
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The movie ends with some fighting, chainsaw attacks, and some use of a machete. Otis comes to the rescue and kills the killer. The movie ends with Otis going back to the graveyard to talk to some more dead people as some unusually cheery music plays. Now the movie is not good, by all means. As a movie its not good, as a horror film its not good, and as a exploitation film its not even good. Theres just so little to it, its really just fucking, talking and some killing thrown in at the last minute. Another blatant thing is the fact you can see Boom Mikes through out the whole film. It shows up so much, it could have gotten a credit under cast. SW had the potential to be a good slasher movie, but falls short on material. So if you happen to be in the mood for some horror this Labor Day weekend, I don't recommend Savage Weekend. A movie that should stay forgotten in the dark void that is Public Domain.
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Gore: 1/5
Cheese :3/5
Best Scene:Tango and Sleaze, the Strip tease with Nicky and Shirley.

2.5 out of 5
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Alternate titles:
The Killer Behind the Mask
The Upstate Murders

"Well would you move if someone put a nail through you? I wouldn't even wiggle.."

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Early Traumas


____"The Boneyard"(1991)____

Directed by:James Cummins
(Jersey Callum) Ed Nelson
(Alley Cates) Deborah Rose
(Miss Poopinplatz) Phyllis Diller
Tag lines:
"Something Strange is happening at the country morgue. Something bad...Something Very Bad"
"Dare To Enter...Try To Leave"
"Just Keep Repeating - It's only a poodle, it's only a poodle..."


This film is pretty infamous with me mainly because of the fact it haunted me as a child. Back when I wasn't as "brave" as I am today, I was easily scared by everything horror related, except the old classics. But one of my biggest fears was the box to this movie. That shows you how much of a wimp I was. When I was a child every time I saw the box it freaked me out, from the giant mutant poodle to the zombie Phyllis Diller on the back. It also got worse when walking along my house I caught glimpses of what I thought..was the film back then, but was actually some other horror movie I have yet to see. Now skip a head I'm older and we get the DVD of this from our local DVD shop. I decide to watch it and well..It surprised me.

Now the film was a direct to video movie created by James Cummins, who has worked mainly with special effects. This being his first movie. The movie was marketed as a horror comedy, which is strange because there isn't a lot of intentional humor in the film. Its actually a pretty dark film with some creepy imagery and creatures. I'm thinking that the people who were doing the promoting for the film just saw the giant zombie poodle mutant and decided this was a comedy. The film was probably poorly marketed because you never really hear much of the film, it kinda just fadded off into obscurity.

The movie follows a fat, depressed, reclusive psychic Alley. She worked with the police for a few years on murder cases and it just wore her out dealing with all of it. Shes brought out of her "retirement" when a friend of hers, Jersey, who works with the police comes with a new case. The case is about a series of grizzly child murders. The main suspect, a Mr. Chen, owner of a funeral home claims that the 3 mummified child corpses are actually Demons. These creatures, or "kyoshi" as he calls them, are little monsters which have been given a curse which makes them crave human flesh. I looked up the name Kyoshi and got Kyoshi Takahama a japanese writer, but nothing about demons. Flesh the mortician Chen has been feeding them for practically his entire life, his family being care takers of the creatures. Obviously no one believes Chen and he is charged with murder. So Alley and Jersey go to the morgue and check out the kids and see if Alley can give any clues on who or what is and happened to the kids. Unfortunatly for them and the rest of the people at the morgue, the unfed creatures awaken and attack the people of the morgue, leading to some great effects, cool kills, and some great gore. One of the attendants at the morgue, a mean old woman by the name of Miss Poopinplatz(Played by Phyllis Diller) and her poodle are turned into crazy mutant zombies and are some of the coolest damn zombies I have ever seen. The effects are great and the design is amazing. The movie plays out like Dead Alive or Return more then the classic Romero type zombie films. But theres a valid excuse, since the zombies in the film are actually ancient demons. Just the scenes with the giant zombie Phyllis are amazing looking. She was also pretty good in the film, and played the role pretty good, even taking off her wig in one scene.

The film is a rare find, mainly because the DVD is pretty hard to locate. If you can find it I recommend you buy it. Its a interesting movie with some great effects, and good zombies. The movie is a perfect B-movie being low budget, unintentionally funny, and actually producing some good scares. The characters are pretty good as well and Rose is really good as the part of Alley. The DVD comes with some special features, and a feature commentary if I can remember correctly. So while being a big Childhood Trauma this film is also up there with some of my favorite Zombie movies.

Best Scene: Phyllis Smash!
4 out of 5
I would love to see more out of Mr. Cummins.




Thursday, September 3, 2009

Weird Monster Toys

Well long ago my dad had picked these two up somewhere, and we have no freaking idea what these toys are from, or what they are. And this isnt even all of them, theres also a cow woman toy somewhere in hiding. So any of you have any clue as to what these are it would be greatly appreciated.