Saturday, March 14, 2009

Guest Review: "Stephen King's IT"

Hello, brave bloggers, I’m Uman, writing at the request of my good friend Kappa02. I’m trying to keep this shortish, so I won’t drone on too long in the beginning, but anyway, what do a lot of B-movies have? Let’s see, chicks killing people...vampires...crazy people...and killer clowns. What ELSE has all these things? Well, only the library of horror’s most celebrated writer, Stephen King. That would be my main reason for putting reviews of his books on this blog, even if it’s not mine. The movies based off of this books may not BE B-movies, but, like most horror movies, they have elements of them. Me and Kappa may do some reviews of those movies in due time, but first I’m going to review King’s best, and one of his most well-known books.

It’s well known amongst horror readers that not many books are truly scary. I mean, come on, it’s words on a paper! What it takes in imagination, on both your part and the writers, and there is no book that uses this tool more powerfully then one of the scariest and best books ever...IT. Even the name is kinda scary. IT. IT. IT. Raaah. Alright, onto reviewing.

Why is this book so good? Because it’s scary, but it wouldn’t be nearly as scary if it didn’t pull you into its world and make you feel like you almost know the characters. How does it make you feel that way? Because it explains alot, because there’s lots of exposition, and little minute details that only help to enrich the story. How does it have so much exposition? Well, to quote a wise passerby from Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, it’s a HUGE BITCH. At over 1,100 pages, you bet there’s a lot of exposition. But that’s what makes the book great. As you read you find out more about the strange origins of Pennywise the Clown, and the Loser’s Club, who spend half of the book as kids and half as adults (these parts are distributed in sort of a back-and-forth pattern, kid part, adult part, kid part, adult part, etc. Pennywise is only one of the many forms of the book’s title monster, some of which include homages to classic horror movies such as the swamp thing, Frankenstein, and Dracula, and also B movies like a werewolf wearing a varsity jacket (dare I say a teen wolf?) and a walking eye, from, uh...the one about the walking eye.

Going back to the subject of imagination, it’s put to great use in this book. Now, we’ve sort of seen monsters whose powers turn out to be their weaknesses, right? Yeah. Well, these monsters are nothing compared to It. It preys on you using your imagination to turn into the scariest form you can imagine, which is why is mostly preys on kids, because they have more imagination than adults do. But, in an ironic twist, kids also seem to be the only ones who can hurt It, as they have so much imagination that they can use virtually anything against It when they’re up to it (It it It it It), at one point even screaming the names of various birds at the monster causes it to shriek and snarl in recoil. Don’t let these adjectives fool you, though-It is one very smart monster. Anyway, this imagination concept, along with other things such as the bond of friendship-alright, lemme stop right here and say yes, what you’ve heard is true, there IS an orgy, but believe me, it’s in a much different tone than you’d think. All the emotions in the book are great.


To end and summarize, as I said before, the book is scary as s**t. The beginning is just as scary as you’ve heard, the concept of an all seeing, town-inhabiting monster using one of children’s best assets against them is scary, and King’s words are hella scary, and not always conventional, horror-scary either. For instance, one of the characters interviews an old man about how, back in the fifties, the men of the town sort of surprised a prominent gangster of the time by pulling out guns and shooting him and his posse when he stopped his car in the street to go into the store. After the old man explains all this, the characters asks him “Do you remember seeing anything sort of strange, maybe out of place then?” The old man almost immediately says “Oh, you mean the clown?” and you crap your pants. Believe me, at this moment you realize “HOLY SHIT, THIS GUY IS EVERYWHERE.” It’s REALLY creepy. And then there’s the regular scary, like the beginning, where he’s in the sewers, you all know the story. All that emotion is what makes this book great.

So, IT is an awesome book, one of my personal favorites. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but when I do, I’ll be sure to voice my input somewhere. If you haven’t read the book, for the love of all that is holy, bite the extremely thick bullet and do it. You’ll get through it surprisingly fast once you realize how amazing it is, and you’ll float, oh, you’ll float...Because we all float...down here.



Thank you Uman for this review

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Movie Poster Of The Day # 3

Poster Of The Day:
"Werewolves On Wheels"


I love this poster...a lot.
For one the art is bad ass, very pulp and has a nice look to it, very dynamic.
First off the colors of the poster work very well, and give it a very pulp-ish look to it. Probably the first thing you will see is the beautifully drawn werewolf, looking bad ass on his motor cycle, with a snake around him and a hot chick at his side, upside down. And if that's not crazy enough, shes got a skull around her finger.
And then to the left side there looks what is ether a cult of some sort setting fire to some guy.
Then at the bottom, there's a man lying in the way of the Harley riding Lycanthrope, and is about to be mince meat. Then to the right is another, non werewolf motor who cared about him, this isn't humans on wheels, its "WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS"!

Also love the tag line, "This Gang Thought It Was Tough...Till It Found A New Type Of Hell...The Bride Of Satan!"
I loved this poster at first glance, and I actually happily own a copy of it, which is hanging on my wall. I mean come on Werewolves On Wheels..THAT'S BAD ASS!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Horror Video Game Of The week: March, Week 1

So I'm a big video game fan(Mostly older games) but I saw previews for this game and had to get it..But it was hard..

What game might I be talking about?...
"Stubb's The Zombie" for the Xbox(Original)
This game had a lot going for it, its gore, its humor, its references, soundtrack, and the fact you play a Zombie, and not some random hero in a zombie holocaust...No your Stubbs', Rebel Without A Pulse, a Zombie with a mission.

Now when I actually found the game, I was pleasantly surprised by the great cover seen below:

This game plays pretty much like Halo(Has the Halo engine after all)had the same kinda of feel as the "Destroy All Humans'" series.

So the story is, your Stubb's, a zombie who wakes up in the middle of the city Punchbowl, a futuristic Utopia set in a 50's-ish city made by Andrew Monday and his teams of scientists, led by former Nazi scientist Dr. Hermann Wye.
Stubb's automatically causes mayhem in the city streets, as he goes around eating brains and making a army of undead in the process that you can command..only down fall to it is they're pretty stupid..(Well they are zombies) and take awhile to get use to commanding them, but they do help out a lot in tough areas.
So why Stubbs is alive and what his goal is a mystery at the beginning of the game, but it all unravels quite nicely.


Stubb's was a door to door sales man who got tangled up with a hilly billy girl named Maggie Monday and they have sex..which leads to her father Otis Monday to shoot and kill him..which brings us to Stubb's now
Now alive again, and ready for vengeance Stubb's and his undead army go to end some unfinished business. Stubb's destroys Punchbowl, takes down the police,(Which is one of my favorite parts because of the dance battle), Kills Otis Monday, and eventually get to Andrew Mondays home and reunites with his lost love Maggie Monday, and..Eats her brains..

Andrew now pissed because his city is infested with zombies, and is destroyed goes after Stubb's himself in a battle, but Stubb's is victorious and goes after Andrew, but Maggie, now a zombie, convinces him to spare him. The game ends with Stubb's and Maggie sailing off on a small rowboat, kissing as Andrew and all of Punchbowl are destroyed by a nuclear bomb, and "live" happily ever after.

In the game Stubb's has a variety of weapons like stick bomb(Him farting), a organ bomb he throws, the power to bowl his own head and explode it, using his arm to take over people, and various melee moves.

Now after all that why didn't the game get so popular?
Well for one it was hard to find, I could barley find any stores that carried it.
Another problem was the fact it was long, and repetitive, with most of it just being walking very slow to eating peoples brains over and over, and the humans always saying the same things. Another problem was the lack luster music used in the game, while they had alot of good songs made for the soundtrack to the game, they barley used it..the only part I hear the songs are in the menu screen, and the dance off.

Its not the worst game, but its not the best game, anyway I still love it, mostly because of the fact your playing a zombie.


They got a lot of famous bands to do covers of old songs for the soundtrack, and even some original stuff
Song list:
1."Lollipop" (Ben Kweller)
2."My Boyfriend's Back" (The Raveonettes)
3."Earth Angel" (Death Cab for Cutie)
4."Shakin' All Over" (Rose Hill Drive)
5."Strangers in the Night" (Cake)
6."There Goes My Baby" (The Walkmen)
7."Everyday" (Rogue Wave)
8."All I Have to Do Is Dream" (The Dandy Warhols)
9."Mr. Sandman" (Oranger)
10."If I Only Had a Brain" (The Flaming Lips)
11."Tears on My Pillow" (Clem Snide)
12."Lonesome Town" (Milton Mapes)
13."The Living Dead" (Phantom Planet)

(Possible Sequel)
There's a Possible sequel coming out of this game, and hopefully if it does come, it has another soundtrack, and some better game play.

Monday, March 2, 2009


Thanks to My dad for doing the design seen above. Done specifically for this blog..

He actually did two:
The zombie one
And this monster one..

So I just want to thank him for the designs!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

"Perfect Blue" Review

____________"Perfect Blue"_______________
This is a Japanimation movie based on some book..Like I care..Now the story is about a pop star called Mima Kirigoe who's part of a pop band called "CHAM!" who try's to break away from pop star-dome to be an actress and is being guided by her friend Rumi .
She starts off by doing small lines, but then gets bigger roles thanks to her manager..She is also being stalked by a obsessive Fan, Me-Mania. Meanwhile, there are bad things happening on set, like bombs, and other various accidents. Mima then Stumbles upon a website that tells people what she did all day, and her thoughts.
Mima's parts get bigger and bigger, and she tries to escape her pop star persona and be a actress. This causes her to see a visions of herself as her pop star persona, who taunts her, calling her a faker, and that the vision is the real Mima. This kinda gets out of hand when she does a Rape scene for a movie and does nudie pictures for some magazine. After these things start, she slowly falls apart, and looses grip with reality, and who she is. Especially when people start dying by what seems to be her hand.(Oooh my the ice pick in the eye...)
So at this point its going all Inland Empire and you dont know if its Me-Mania, Rumi, or Mima Killing off people.
You then learn later on it is that obsessive fan has been manipulated by Rumi to kill members of the movie/TV show that Mima was working on and then ultimately try and kill her.
Luckily she gets away and then is confronted by an insane Rumi who believes shes Mima and tries to kill her, calling her fake. This leads to a strange chase scene ending with Mima being stabbed 3 times, and then stabbed by an umbrella, and then getting almost killed by a car. but Luckily Rumi..gets fucked over by broken glass..ew...The movie ends with Rumi in the mental ward and Mima seemingly okay..

I liked this movie mainly because, it doesn't leave you feeling bored and its treated like an actual movie..which is good..also the voice acting was good, and the animation was good, but the design on Me-Mania was kinda strange..

Gore:3/5 Pick threw eye..
Survivor Girl:4/5 well there isn't much to say about her, she goes from innocent pop star to actress to porn start to innocent in one movie
Theme:2/5 Hate J-Pop
Villain:2/5 This movie is pretty predictable, but I did not expect her friend to be the villain..though she wasn't that great of one..
Overall:3/5 Its good, worth a see, and maybe a buy...