Saturday, October 10, 2009

Hunk Of Burning Shit

____"Rockabilly Vampire"(1996)___

Directed by:
Lee Bennett Sobel
(Wrecks Vincent)Stephen Blackehart
(Eddie Vincent)Paul Stevenson
(Iris Dougherty)Margaret Lancaster

Alternate Titles:
Burnin' Love
Rockabilly Vampire: Burnin' Love

Rockabilly Vampire...Just the name of the movie gives me a pretty bad head ache. The film was constantly there mocking me every time I went through the instant watch section of Netflix. I saw it and it called to me, telling me to watch it. Well eventually I caved, and I wish I hadnt. A independently made vampire film released by Troma. That should say everything right there, I mean Troma has made good films, but remember this isn't made by Troma, there is no Lloyd Kaufman, but instead a man by the name of Lee Bennett Sobel. The guy made a few other films like UFO Fever(2003), Terrormarketers(2005), and Hotties 1 and 2(2005). Hes currently working on a new movie called Mother May I. Vampire movies are a very touchy thing with me. While being a fan of movies like Fright Night and From Dusk Till Dawn, I don't really care for others like Near Dark or that accursed Twilight series. So it didn't help that this film is a vampire human love story flick. I'm seriously fucking tired of seeing these films, I like my vampires crazy looking and evil damn it!
Now this film follows the story of a woman named Iris, a woman who works at a thrift store with her horny goth friend Emma. Iris is obsessed with the 50's, even though there is no way in hell she could have lived during the 50's or known the 50's enough to actually be obsessed with it. Aside from that shes also a Elvis lover. I honestly don't give half a flying shit about these two, they're boring characters and I hate them. Well Iris has been having some man trouble, being stalked by a yuppie they call Beatleboy. Why? Because he dresses like a member of the Beatles. Get it? Jesus Christ...And her landlord Danny, who's really just a big doof. The movie movies at a incredibly slow pace and nothing really amazing happens in it to actually make me want to see the film. Its basically just a very very dull love movie that just so happens to have vampires. Well lets take a look at our Vampire, his name is Eddie Vincent; who just so happens to be a Elvis lookalike. He's a deep, sensitive vampire who doesn't like to kill, and all that bull shit. He was turned by his brother in the 50's. How do you know hes from the 50's? Well he uses phrases like "make like an Eskimo pie and cool it." You hep for this joker's jive? Well apparently Iris is, she sees him and instantly falls in love with him. They eventually get to know each other more and fall for each other. Meanwhile Eddie's brother, Wrecks is out to get back his brother...for some reason.

The movie is just way too long and boring to actually have me entertained, it drags and drags without much to see. I mean I really, really don't care about relationships, I don't watch horror films so I can see a couples journey, I watch it so I can see that couple get mauled into pieces. The quality is bad, like most Troma films, and old indie flicks like this. There isn't much effects or gore, just some blood every once and awhile. The acting is horrible, and not even so horrible its funny, just bad. Everything about this film is just bad. With a name like Rockabilly Vampire, I expect there to be a better story. The film would have been better if Lloyd Kaufman would have made it, then we would have more gore, nudity and disgust. When looking at what people thought about the film they all say the same thing.

"The soundtrack is unbeatable for anyone who enjoys rockabilly and rock music in general."
"the music is amazing,"
"The soundtrack is OK, "
"With a sweet music score filled with rockabilly music, "

I personally thought it wasn't that good. The main problem with it is, the rockabilly music isn't really anything great, and you usually hear it in the background. But the fucking main song in the film is played SO MUCH that is ruins the whole thing for me. So basically I would say avoid this like the plague, the film is a dull horrible excuse of a vampire movie.

Nudity:2/5 A brief boob shot
Best Scene: The ending

1.5 out of 5


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