Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th Of July!

Well its that time again where we reflect on when we fought for our independance and shaped what would become what we live in today. So on this great day, why not review a war movie by Troma!?

_______"Troma's War"(1988)_______

Directed by:Michael Herz & Lloyd Kaufman

Carolyn Beauchamp(Lydia)
Sean Bowen(Taylor)
Rick Washburn(Parker)
Patrick Weathers(Kirkland)
Jessica Dublin(Dottie)
Steven Crossley(Marshall)

"NOT a true story but who cares!"
"There's nothing like a good war to make heroes of us all."

This movie Surprised me a lot..Im not the biggest Troma fan, but I have to say this is a great movie. The action was great, the characters were likable, and you actually rooted for them, and I even laughed at the jokes. This is probably one of my favorite Troma movie now. Got to give it to Mr. Kaufman he made a pretty good War movie.

So the plot of the movie is about a group of people who end up on a strange island when their plane crashes. The first 5 minutes are basically getting to know the characters somewhat, and getting the plot on its feet. Sorry if I mix up the characters or forget names, it was kinda hard to figure out who was who in this film since names arnt really thrown around that much. The suriviors consists of a Vietnam Vet who likes to cut peoples ears off, a blind girl(What is with Troma and blind people?)A band, a british guy with poisin darts, a priest, a mother and daughter, and other characters, you really dont need to know. At first I thought the movie was actually a episode of LOST, but the usual Troma shananagins start happening which are: Sex, tits, and death. And I was actually pretty surprised at how fast the action starts. While checking out the island Taylor, Parker and Marshall spot a group of soldiers walking on the island. Meanwhile the band go off in the jungle and finds some dead people pinned to trees, and are frightened and run off, eventually getting caught. They soon find out the island is inhabbited by every kind of terrorist imagined, from Russian Commies to Ninjas. The Army seems to be led by a pigman, a crazy German woman, A Nazi and Simease twins joined at the head.
A group of soldiers shows up on the beach where a few of the survivors are(The rest left) and kill and capture some of them.
The group who was lucky enough to leave the beach kill some soldiers and get some guns. This is where the character Parker really shines as you find he is actually a Vietnam Vet who was in the airborn, and takes a little too much pleasure in killing people. This leads to many crazy scenes where its ONE character taking out millions of soldiers without being hit once! Its great.
The prisinors are taken to a camp, where the sadistic, and crazy Nazi Officer kills some of the "Jews" as he calls them. Aperenltly the Terrorists on the island think that the plane survivors are actually undercover Comandos. Well The Priest is shot, another guy is thrown off a building, a girl is shot in the ass and killed, and one is given aids by a soldier called "The Seed" who has aids, and has boils, and wears a white suit. They find out the terrorists plan, which is they are going to try and contaminate the waters of America with Drugs, and Diseases. The base is then attacked by the survivors, which leads to another great battle scene where the characters seemed to kill nearly every body without being hit once. The leader of that base, the Simease Twin, is killed by a member of the band who with a Machete cuts them where their joined. The group gets ready that night for the last battle with the Terrorists, which leads to a few of the characters dying, lots of crazy explosions and guns firing everywhere. At the end the group defeats the Terrorists, does a pose and yells "AMERICA".

The movie is actually very good, with good characters, lots of death, Not a lot of Nudity, which is unusual for Troma. My favorite Character has to be Parker, who is just fucking Nuts, going around shooting everyone, and cutting off peoples ears. But its not a perfect movie, it has a few things I didnt like. One is Lydia, who is just a horrible character, even for a Troma film. A thing that really didnt bother me, but I want to point out is the fact when the boat blows up, it blows up way too early. The soundtrack really bothers me also, its some of the lamest 80's rock you can get. Another thing that bothers me a lot with Troma films is the Quality. The quality in the movie is really not amazing, its very dark, which is ashame. The movie also didnt really have a lot of gore. I mean yeah theres people dying left and right, but nothing amazingly gorey like in Terror Firmer, or the Toxic Avenger series. I mean it does have its moments.


Alternate Titles:
1,000 Ways to Die (USA)
Club War(Germany)


"Airborn!" - Parker

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