Monday, May 25, 2009

Hillbilly Hijinks


______________"Motel Hell"(1980)___________

Directed by:Kevin Connor
Rory Calhoun
Nancy Parsons
Nina Axelrod

Tag lines:
"Meat's meat and a man's gotta eat."
"Visit this tasty "meating" place if you dare..."
"It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent fritters."
"Checking in is easy ... Checking out is hell."
"You might just die...laughing!"

Motel Hell, the dark comedy/horror slasher film is about Farmer Vincent Smith who runs his own Motel, named Motel Hello(The O flickers on and off)with his sister Ida. Besides being the owner of the Motel, Vincent also has his own Jerky which is considered the best in the county. But there is more to these two country bumpkins then meets the eye, Vincent and his sister put booby traps in the streets around the motel and trap random pedestrians and make them into jerky. How do they go about doing that? First by knocking them out, digging a hole, burying them in said hole, cutting out their vocal cords(which leaves them making a horrific noise that sounds like a Gremlin hitting puberty)Then seasoning them after a period of time with kill them using hypnotism and rope and turn them into jerky.

Both of our villians in this movie seem to have no real remorse for their actions and even seem to enjoy it a little too much. They kinda say how Vincent and his family got started in this mess, by telling a story of his grandma who would turn practically anything into jerky, and that Vincent smoked a local dog. Besides Ida, Vincent also has a younger brother sheriff Bruce, who seems to not know of their evil deeds, and is ignorant to it till the end of the film.
Now lets get to the story. Vincent while walking out around his motel/farm sees a motorcycle accident, involving 2 people. One a Blondie girl named Terry, and the other, the driver, who is a big biker guy.
Terry finds out by Vincent her boyfriend was "Killed" and decides to stay with them. This is the middle section of the movie and during this its mostly just filler to get to know more about Vincent, Ida, and Terry. This is done by showing Vincent and Ida capturing more people, and Bruce and Terry going out on a date. Even though Bruce likes Terry, it isn't mutual as she fell in love for Vincent. Ida getting jealous of Terry attempts to kill her once she learns Vincent might tell her how they make the meat and try to replace her. She then trys to drown Terry in the river, but before she could do it, Vincent saves the day. This leads to some breast shots, and Terry and Vincent planning to get hitched. giving her a shelter and being so kind. Bruce finds out about this and rushes over to Terry to tell her not to marry Vincent, claiming he has "syphilis of the brain" which leads to more breast shots. Vincent scares Bruce out by threatening him with a shotgun. That night they drug Terry so they can make some more jerky. Bruce still mad about this whole situation decides to check on some strange things he noticed, and finds evidence that something not kosher is happening in his Brother's place.

One of the victims gets out of the ground and frees the others and go and try to find Ida and Vincent. Meanwhile Bruce is going to warn/save Terry from Vincent. While telling Terry Ida knocks Bruce out and shows Terry whats exactly going on there at the farm/motel. Vincent sends Ida to get Bruce but is then attacked by the Jerky Zombies(Which is my name for them) and knock her out. Vincent straps Terry to a conveyor belt and trys to kill her. He is interrupted one one of the Jerky Zombies come in threw the sealing and attacks Vincent, but from being in the ground for so long, is killed by Vincent. Bruce wakes, and gets one of his brother's shotguns, then proceeds to the meat packing room, but finds his brother with a giant chainsaw and is wearing a pigs head as a mask. This leads to a big fight sequence Gun vs. Chainsaw, then Chainsaw vs. Chainsaw. If I've learned anything from horror movies with chainsaws is chainsaw fights are awesome, Period. While this is all happening Terry is slowly moving forward to her possible death. Bruce manages to hit Vincent with the chainsaw, mortally wounding him. Bruce rushes and saves Terry and then stays by Vincents side and he gives his soliloquy where he says the specail ingredient in his meat is..Preservatives.


Bruce and Terry find Ida head down in a hole, and go to the front of the motel. Terry suggests they burn the motel, saying it's evil, and as if on cue the sign saying "Motel Hello" finally shorts out, darkening the O and leaving a flurry of sparks leaving the name of the motel "Motel Hell".
Ive been wanting to see this film for awhile now and finally got it in a two pack along with the film "Deranged" which I will get to another day. This movie really surprised me, I loved the humor, the witty dialog, the music, the acting all very good. This is probably now one of my favorite Slasher movies. Also loved the cameo by radio personality Wolf man Jack(As Reverend Billy) For being a horror comedy, its good. For being a slasher/killer movie its a interesting entry and doesn't really follow stereotypes most do. Another funny thing about this movie is there really isn't that much gore or blood, and only about 6 people die in the film.
4 and a half Pig heads out of 5


Now ill leave you with this song:
Kregg Nance - You're Eatin' Out My Heart and Soul

"Sometimes I wonder about the karmic implications of these actions" - Vincent Smith

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