Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Kung-fu Khristmas Day 2

Trailer:


____"Riki-Oh: Story Of Ricky"(1991)____

Directed by:
Lam Ngai Kai
Starring:
(Riki-Oh)Siu-Wong Fan
(Assistant Warden)Mei Sheng Fan
(Warden Sugiyama)Ka-Kui Ho
Alternate Titles:
Story of Ricky
King of Strength

On the "second" day of Kung-Fu Khristmas, my DVD store brought to me, one incredibly gory movie. If you're a fan of gore then you should definitely know this film. Why? Because this is probably one of the goriest films I have ever seen, and probably one of my favorite movies at the moment. I am in love with Riki-Oh: Story Of Ricky. Riki-Oh is filled to the brim with brutal gore, fights and cheese. The film never loses your interest and makes you sit there waiting for what will happen next. I really consider it a forgotten gem, and I'm ecstatic that I could get myself a copy of this awesome film. Now lets get some back story on this film. I first heard of the film from spill.com's pod cast "Lets Do This!". They mentioned how crazy the movie was numerous times and they got me interested in it. I decided to look it up, and after seeing a few clips I knew right away I had to own this film. I can really go on saying how crazy, bad ass, action packed and all that other crap, but lets start to actually talk about the film itself. Its based on a Japanese comic by the same name, created by Masahiko Takajo and Saruwatari Tetsuya. Ive seen a bit of the comic, and its worth checking out, close to the film and has good art. It goes on a bit more then the film did and the plot is slightly different. For instance, in the comic Riki-Oh's girlfriend isn't dead, but in a coma. You also see more of the assistant warden, and the drug dealer who he kills isn't actually dead, but he is very fucked up. One of the Gang Of Four gets a pitchfork stuck in his head and he has it for the rest of the comic, but in the movie it never happens(Which is a shame, because that would have been great). The comic also had Ricky's brother in it, which the movie does not. Its actually pretty strange I liked this film so much, because I'm not a big fan of a lot of Japanese gore films. For example the Tokyo shock films(speaking of Tokyo Shock, they released this on DVD). The Story of Ricky just had a different feeling to it, and really makes it more entertaining to me. The film was one of the first to gain a level/category 3 rating in Hong Kong, basically meaning no one younger than 18 can get the film. This was just for its gore, since there is basically no nudity(aside from a ass shot in a early scene).

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The movie is set in 2001 in a futuristic world where all government institutions have been privatized, including prisons. It follows Riki-Oh, a man sentenced for man slaughter after killing a man(The drug dealer, who like I said, doesn't die in the comic). You learn right away Riki is a freaking bad ass, what do expect from a man who has bullets stuck in him, that he called "souvenirs". You later find out he killed because of the death of his girlfriend(as shown in flash backs), which itself is pretty hilarious. The prison he's at is run by the dangerous Gang of Four, each of the four run a different area of the prison. They are hired by the evil warden Sugiyama to contain and control the prisoners. The movie starts up with a incident involving a man trying to get Parole to see his family, and ending up a horrible fate because of the leader Oscar. Riki after seeing this decides to get rid of all the evil in the prison, one person at a time. He then goes off and kills some of Oscar's goons easily, one of which a giant fat beast of a man named Zorro. This leads to some horrifying scenes including a man who falls forward into spikes, disemboweling, and a punch right through the gut. Word of this gets to the assistant warden, a fat man with a hook hand and a fake eye that dispenses mints(Yes, mints.). The Assistant warden then orders Oscar to kill of Riki, and lets him use...The "knife". This plan obviously fail and Oscar is done away with in a great fig. This fight includes Ricky sewing his tendons back together, and Oscar choking Riki with his own intestines. After this, the Gang of Four make their presence, and the famous head smashing scene is shown.
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This made famous by the daily show. The rest of the film has Ricky going through hell and horrible tortures by the rulers of the prison. I don't want to give away too much of the film, because its really worth going into it not knowing much. I will say something about the end fight. Think the lawn mower scene in Dead Alive, but turn that lawn mower on its back and there you go. I really recommend this film with all of my heart, its really a classic in my book. If you call yourself a gorehound, a kung-fu freak, or a exploitation, horror, or bad films fan, this is a definite must see. Everything is awesome, from the massive porno collection in the assistant warden's office, to a prisoner singing "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones while getting off the toilet. Its Dead Alive with Kung Fu. If you cant find the film at your local video store, I just so happened to find the full film uploaded here on Google.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=417949348888674336#
Enjoy.
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Overall:
Gore:5/5
Cheese:5/5
Fights:5/5
Nudity:2/5
Dubbing:5/5
Favorite Scene: Favorite would be the fight with Tarzan.

5 out of 5
Poster:
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Quotes:
"You'll die mutilated today!"


Friday, December 18, 2009

Kung-Fu Khristmas day 1

Trailer:

____"The Game Of Death"(1978)____

Directed by:
Robert Clouse
Sammo Hung
Bruce Lee
Starring:
(Billy Lo)Bruce Lee
(Ann Morris)Colleen Camp
(Dr. Land)Dean Jagger
(Jim Marshall)Gig Young
(Also Billy Lo)Biao Yuen and Tai Chung Kim

Its December, so that can only mean one thing; Kung-Fu movies. Well at lest this year. I recently got a hold of a ton of martial arts films and I decided to do this Christmas differently then you would usually expect from a site like this. Instead of reviewing movies like Black Christmas and Silent Night, Deadly Night, I'm going to review Kung-Fu films. So welcome to the first day of "Kung-fu Khristmas".
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Today I chose a film by a person we've talked about a bit here, but never really reviewed any of his movies. We tackled Brucesploitation with Bronson Lee, Champion and Fist Of Fear, Touch Of Death, but its about time to review a film he's actually in...Well for the most part. The film I'm talking about is The Game Of Death. This possibly being one of the worst Bruce Lee films I've seen. This isn't necessarily Bruce's fault, though he plays major role in why the film is bad.
The film originally was going to be Bruce's time to show off his Kung-Fu Jeet Kune Do. Though because of his death, his plans for the film were changed. In the original plot for the film, Bruce was Hai Tien a retired champion fighter who must save his brother and sister who have been kidnapped by a Koren gang and taken to a Pagoda. Each level of the Pagoda has a different fighter with different styles. Well instead of that the plot of the movie instead follows Billy Lo a martial arts movie star who faces a racketeering syndicate. So pretty much they took the footage they had, built up a new story, filmed new material and put it together with the pre-existing footage to make what we have today as being the Game Of Death. This new plot was created by director Robert Clouse. Robert Clouse being the man who brought us another famous Bruce Lee film Enter the Dragon. He also made other films such as Black Belt Jones, Gymkata, and The Big Brawl. Other people who helped direct the film are Bruce Lee himself, and Sammo Hung. Sammo Hung a famous fight coordinator and Martial Arts star himself. Sammo helped with the fight choreography for the Robert Clouse parts.
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The film opens up weird, having a James Bond like opening credits featuring footage of Bruce from his other films. I guess the film must take place during his filming of Way Of The Dragon, since you can see Bruce fighting Chuck Norris at the beginning. Though when the director says cut, Chuck disappears suddenly from the scene. Chuck, though never actually being in the film was credited as being in it. Chuck then threatened to sue if they didn't take his name off the credits. The plot, like I said is about Billy Lo a martial arts movie star who gets caught up in a racketeering scheme by a evil syndicate lead by Dr. Land played by Dean Jagger. They threaten Billy and his girlfriend Ann, and eventually shoot Billy during the filming of one of his films. Ann played by Colleen Camp, who had a pretty good career after the film.
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Billy is then hospitalized and fakes his death in order to start his payback against the Syndicate. The whole plot is obviously reflecting on Bruce Lee's real death and is in pretty bad taste, especially the funeral service. Billy then goes after the Syndicate in various disguise such as Billy with a mustache, and Billy as a old Chinese man. Meanwhile Ann his girlfriend is dealing with Billy's death badly and nearly tries to shoot the leaders of the syndicate only to be stopped by Billy. The whole plot is really dull and you could really skip to the fights and really not miss much. It drags on, and it never really gets good till after Billy fakes his death and the action starts to build up. Eventually Billy makes his way to a pagoda where he battles various fighters on the different levels of the pagoda to get to Dr. Land. One being Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and probably the best fight of the film. Not to say the other fights are not good as well. The only saving grace of the film are that the fights are pretty damn good. If you haven't watched the film, you've seen the suit before. This movie has Bruce Lee in his now iconic yellow jump suit. In the film he gets it during the fight against the motor cycle assassins. The suit is constantly referenced in other Kung-Fu films and in pop culture. Most notable for the Kill Bill films. While not being Bruce's best film, it isn't necessarily that bad. I would recommend seeing the film if only for the fight scenes. In fact I disappointingly think that Bronson Lee, Champion is a better then this film.
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I got the film in a box set of Bruce Lee films, and in the box set it also had a sequel called the Game Of Death 2. While I have yet to watch the film, one could only wonder what they did to make that a possibility. If your a fan of Bruce Lee or Kung-Fu your probably gonna end up seeing this, but I would advise just skipping to the fights.

Overall:
Gore:3/5
Action:4/5
Cheese:3/5
Best Scene:Dr. Land falling off the Pagoda. That had me rolling in laughter.

3 out of 5
Poster:
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Quote:
"One rebel begats another. It's the Billy Lo syndrome."
"A venereal disease. Often terminal. "


Sunday, December 6, 2009

Bruce Is Turning In His Grave..

___"Fist Of Fear, Touch Of Death"(1980)___

Directed by:
Matthew Mallinson
Starring:
Fred Williamson
Ron Van Clief
Adolph Caesar
(Himself and Kato)Bill Louie
Aaron Banks
Taglines:
"The 3 Greatest Masters! Bruce Lee, Fred Williamson, Ron Van Clief"

This movie is stupid. I'm angry that I spent one dollar on this piece of shit. First, this isn't a Bruce Lee movie, as much as it wants you to believe it is. This was made 7 years after his death, and is a mockumentary on Bruce Lee and a event on finding a successor of Bruce Lee. So why is Bruce Lee credited in this film? Well because they constantly use stock footage of Bruce and re dub it. This is barley a movie, this is just a bunch of bullshit. The only parts that were actually filmed for the film were the segments with Adolph Caesar, Fred Williamson, Bill Louie, Ron Van Clief, Aaron Banks, and the fights in Madison Square Garden. I would have thought that they just invaded some event and started filming real people fighting..If one of the first fights you see has a man getting his eyeballs ripped out. Now all those people I mentioned play themselves in the film, except for Bill Louie who plays Kato in one part of the film. Most of the actors arnt even in the film that much except Adolph Caesar who does interviews and narrates the event and film.


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Lets look at some of the cast here. This is the first film of Matthew Mallinson, who produced another film I reviewed here called "Don't Go Into The House". He went on make the films Unmasking the Idol, Caged Fury, Chameleon Street, and a few more. It stars Fred Williamson, Football player and Blaxsploitation star. You might know him from the Black Cobra series, or his role in From Dusk Till Dawn. You might also know the voice of Adolph Caesar from the trailer of From Dusk Till Dawn. The plot of the film...There really isn't one. At first you might think this is a mystery/action film on the death of Bruce Lee. They say Bruce was killed by a technique called the touch of death. The idea of it it loosely used throughout the film and really isn't the major plot point of the film. The main plot of the film is a fictional dramatization of Bruce Lee's life through use of footage from other shows/movies and redubbing them. Only 10 percent of the film is new material. They use clips from the 1950's film "Thunderstorm" in the segments about Bruce as a young man, and his family who doesn't accept his dreams of being a black belt. Throughout this they constantly make reference to Bruce's great grandfather who was a famous Samurai. Samurai's being Japanese, Bruce being Chinese. They use clips from a Chop Socky film called "the Invincible Super Chan". I found it funny that the clips with Bruce and his "family" are in black and white, and the clips of his "Grandfather" are in color. There really isn't much to say about this stuff it takes up most of the movie and its just bullshit. Now lets get to the stuff they actually shot. Theres one short segment with Fred Williamson having him wake up and get a ride to Masion Square Garden. This is a dull scene and all I got from it is never call Fred Williamson Harry Belafonte. Then theres the part with Ron Van Clief which is short and has him saving a girl from being raped. Another segment was a re-enactment of Bruce Lee as Kato, and once again has girls being almost raped. I'm pretty sure the girl from the Ron Van Clief segment shows up again in the Kato scene. In it Bill Louie is Kato, a mustache adorned Kato. Come on Bill you really could have shaved it off. He is no where close to being on the level of Bruce and just comes off as silly.
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The movie's ending pissed me off a bit. I thought Fred, Ron and Bill were going to fight in Madison Square Garden, but no luck. You don't even see Ron and Bill there, you just get the occasionally shot of Fred Williamson looking at the ring. The film ends with just a normal fight between two people I've never heard of. I'm not sure if the winner is going to be the next Bruce Lee, or if theres still more fights to come. Honestly I don't really care. This is a terrible movie, and probably one of the worst Brucesploitation films you can find. I would have rather seen some guy pretending to be Bruce then this. Its one of worst movies I've ever seen and is a disgrace to Bruce Lee.
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Overall:
Cheese:5/5
Action:2/5
Gore:1/5
Best Scene:Guy rips out a mans eyes and Bill Louie as a very lame Kato.

1 Out Of 5


Poster:
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Alternate Titles:
The Dragon and the Cobra



Thursday, November 26, 2009

Main Course

_____"Blood Freak"(1972)____
Directed by:
Brad F. Grinter
Steve Hawkes
Starring:
(Herschell)Steve Hawkes
(Angel)Heather Hughes
(Ann)Dana Cullivan
Taglines:
"Only the blood of drug addicts can satisfy the thirst of the blood freak monster!"
"A Dracula On Drugs!"

Well while you can get quite a few horror movies for Christmas and Halloween, thanksgiving is a little harder. But there are a few out there available for your unfortunate viewing "pleasure". I picked, what I believe is the oldest. Blood Freak, not to be mistaken with Blood Feast. Now, theres only one way to go about a horror movie like this, mutant turkey. Oh, but that's not all, Blood Freak goes the distance by also having Jesus and Drugs! I'm gonna be honest here, this movie makes no fucking sense, its felt like watching a insane fever dream induced by Turkey Overdose! I mean, this is probably one of the weirdest, and worst films I have ever seen. The weird thing is, its so crazy and bad I kind of like it for some reason. Now lets just jump right into Blood Freak.
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The only child of Ex-Tarzan actor Steven Hawkes, who directed, starred and wrote the film. His partner in crime is Brad F. Grinter who directed Devil Rider! and Flesh Feast, another horrible movie. The film, from what I can tell from the main character and name is a homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis, the godfather of gore. The film opens with a monologue by who I believe is Brad F. Grinter. The guy just rambles from time to time, and really doesn't do anything. Why does he know this story? Why is he there? Shouldn't Herschell be telling it? Oh well. The guy kinda reminds me of Bela Lugosi in Glen or Glenda. Herschell is a Vietnam vet who picks up a girl by the name of Angel. Angel is a goody two shoes. She and Herschell go to her house, where her sister Ann is throwing a party with a bunch of druggies. Angel takes him there and tells him not to take any drugs. Who takes a person to a drug party to not do drugs? Better question is who goes to a drug party just to read the Bible to people!? This is where the Jesus element comes in as Angel is very religious. Ann on the other hand is planning on hooking Herschell and having him all for herself. How does she go about it? She calls him a coward and next thing you know he's sky high and getting in her pants.
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Herschell was set up with a job at a turkey farm by Angel, there he is subjected to a experimental drug turkey. After eating it, Herschell goes into convulsions and turns into A TURKEY HEADED MUTANT BLOOD FREAK! Yep, hes no Dracula, just a fucked up looking Turkeyman. Hershell goes to Ann and writes her a note explaining his situation. This is when the film takes a strange turn and I lose track of whats happening. Herschell wanders off and kills various drug addicts in some shack that suddenly appeared. He craves the blood of drug addicts Something I noticed, There is one scream recorded for every person, but its just repeated. This, the music and just the look of this film make me feel sick. I can imagine watching this while on drugs. He is then attacked by some guy who cuts his head off; then the film cuts to a turkey/chicken without a head running around. Herschell is then found without a turkey head in the woods. He is going through withdrawals and having a breakdown, but he is saved by JESUS! Yes, Jesus saves the day. The film ends with Herschell and Ann at the beach.
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This movie is fucked up, makes no sense, boring and painful at times. Yet I had fun watching this fucked up movie. The film, while not as bad as Billy The Kid Vs. Dracula, is worse then Manos: The Hands Of Fate. I want to thank horror host Jebediah Buzzard for posting the whole film up, without your video, I wouldn't be able to review this.
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Overall:
Gore:3/5
Cheese:5/5
Monster:3/5
Nudity:2/5
Best Scene: Turkey killing drug addicts and drinking their blood.

1.5 out of 5
Poster:
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Happy Thanksgiving

Heres some appetizers for you on this day of thanksgiving, the main course will be coming later.

Thanksgiving by Eli Roth(2007)


Thankskilling(2009)


Blood Freak(1972)


Poultrygeist(2006)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Near Greatness

Trailer:


____"Tokyo Zombie"(2005)
___
Directed by:
Sakichi Satô
Starring:
Tadanobu Asano
Shô Aikawa

No tag lines for this one, why? well..I cant read Japanese. On the back of the movie its proclaimed as the Japanese Shaun Of The Dead, and it nearly is. I believe I first head of this from Rue Morgue magazine, then saw it on Netflix a few times. Later on I saw it and bought it for the ghastly price of $19.95. It looked interesting with a nice looking cover that really grabs you. Ive been wanting to see a new, good zombie comedy, and this looked pretty good to go with but I was kinda reluctant. I like Asian films, but because of the recent Tokyo Shock Films which are kinda like Troma to me. I like some of their films but most of them I just don't like at all. Though I would rather see the Toxic Avenger then Tokyo Gore Police. I decided to give it a shot and...Well, I'm kinda angry.
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First off the beginning is great, I love the dubbing and the look of the characters. Their silly, fun, and great characters. The voices are perfect for how they look and the voice actors of Fujio and Mitsuo are perfect. It was a interesting idea going with a Jiu Jitsu take on zombie fighting, worked well. The zombies looked pretty good, never really looked cheap. The way they come of being is a bit silly, but acceptable. Like Zombieland, the movie is very light, which is surprising for a zombie film. I would even say this is lighter then Zombieland. There is not a lot of guts and gore, except for a few scenes; and that's where the film peeves me a bit. Now, I hate CGI, especially when it comes to gore. I think its just lazy, and theres a certain scene near the middle of this where it pisses me off every time. Its during the zombie fights where one of the zombies punches a whole in a wrestler. The effect they went with looks horrible as its clearly fake looking. But, its not only fake looking but I would go as far as to say it looked plain ugly. The main reason I'm saying this is probably because of the fact I had recently watched the film Story Of Ricky which shows what a impaling by fist should look like! Besides that the film takes a bad turn by the middle and really slows down. Personally I think that was a bad idea to go about it. You lose one of the main characters and it loses its pacing and the feeling you have gained watching the main characters Fujio and Mitsuo. I would have just erased the whole zombie fights stuff and the stuff with the condos and the humans. Instead I would have kept it just being about Fujio, Mitsuo and Yoko(I believer her name in the movie is) wandering about trying to survive the zombie holocaust. But aside from all that the ending kinda brings it up again and it ends pretty good.
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Now lets get to the plot of this. The film follows Fujio and Mitsuo slackers and proud of it. They spend their day at, what I believe is a Warehouse practicing Jiu Jitsu. One day one of their superiors vents his anger out on Mitsuo and is killed by Fujio by accident. Our heroes decided to dump the body in Black Mount Fuji. Black Mount Fuji is a giant mountain of waste dumped by various people and company's that have formed a mountain so large it actually has snow at the peak. As you see in it, people are buried there, dead and alive. There the two come across Fujio's old teacher. The teacher burying the dead body of one of his students with his pants down, obviously he had molested him(and it pretty much says Fujio had also been molested) The flash back of it had my favorite quote which is (Paraphrasing)"Fro's are not allowed in my classroom!". Fujio then goes to town on the teacher with a shovel. Meanwhile the bodies of the people buried in Black Fuji have risen and want flesh! Soon the epidemic grows and Mitsuo watches a pretty strange news report about it. The doctor with the little puppet he pulls the head off of it probably one of my favorite characters in this. The film then goes into Fujio and Mitsuo trying to get to Russia to train in Jiu Jitsu. Along the way its revealed Mitsuo thinks he has Cancer. Thinks is the key word. The duo break up when Mitsuo is bitten while saving a girl(Who I believe) named Yoko. Mitsuo leaves and their wheels are taken. The film then goes ahead 5 years and this is when it really starts to go down hill. Its revealed that all the survivors have moved into a walled in area that is ruled upon by the rich, using the poor as slaves and entertainment. Zombie fights start up for entertainment, which is where we get to what happened to Fujio. He has become a rather unpopular zombie fighter and had a child with Yoko. This whole plot is just not that entertaining, mainly because it breaks the flow of the beginning and slows down way too much. The ending picks it up a bit but still doesn't do enough to save it. The more I think about it, the more I was disappointed about how it went about doing it. The soundtrack is great too, I would love to get it. I would see a sequel of this; especially after the ending. I like the characters and world, its just the film isn't as good as it could have been. Basically rent it; Unless its cheap, not worth spending big money on like I did.
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Overall:
Gore:2/5
Music:4/5
Zombies:3/5
Cheese:2/5
Screams:2/5
Best Scene: Any scene between Fujio and Mitsuo

4 Out Of 5
(Would have been a 4.5 if it wasn't for the middle.)
Poster:
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Lloyd The Zombie Ad

This is a 2.25" high original resin figure. It is hand casted and painted and limited to 40 pieces, signed and numbered.
Designed by Sam Arshawsky, it is the first of five figures from his "Soiree Of The Living Dead"series! He has a Necronomicon and a base with a cleaver. This is sculpted and painted by David Arshawsky, who worked on the early TMNT line, Turok, Skeleton Warriors, Toxie and Earthworm Jim! The toy is non-articulated.
$40.00 including shipping and handling. Comes in a cool COFFIN BOX!
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(Click for link to painted figurine)
For Stained:
http://turtlemilkstudios.bigcartel.com/product/soiree-of-the-living-dead-m-u-c-s

Friday, November 20, 2009

Menacing Morsel

Trailer:

___"Popcorn"(1991)___
Directed by:
Mark Herrier
Alan Ormsby
Starring:
(Maggie)Jill Schoelen
(Toby)Tom Villard
(Suzanne)Dee Wallace
Taglines:
"Buy a bag, go home in a box."
"The Possessor. Fifteen years ago, he murdered his family on stage and burned down the theater. Tonight... he's back for an encore!

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Popcorn, which came out 5 years before Scream, is much better then what meets the eye. A excellent example of why not to judge a book by its cover, this film from first glance, doesn't seem that good. The artwork, while pretty awesome, does make the movie seem like a bad 80's slasher film. But surprisingly enough, its a good early 90's slasher film. The film has some similarities to Scream, but in my opinion, is far more entertaining and original. The movie is also a pretty good Halloween Horror film, being set on Halloween during a Horrorthon. The movie was surprisingly overlooked and forgotten, and isn't currently on DVD, aside from the probable bootleg DVD. The film has a certain charm, and plenty of loving homages and references to old B-films of the 50's to the 80's. Hell, even the fake films shown at the Horrorthon seem good enough to make real films. The movie is directed by Mark Herrier and Alan Ormsby, this being Mark Herrier's only horror film, and the first film he ever directed. Alan Ormsby also worked on it; though he had directed another great horror film a bit earlier, "Deranged" which I enjoyed a lot. He also wrote for films like "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things", "Cat People"(1982) and "Death Dream". He did special effects for the film "Shock Waves". Alan Ormsby was the original director, but was replaced by Mark Herrier a few weeks into filming. He changed the lead actress and the story from the original, the only things still being Ormsby's are the fake b-movies within the film. This kinda makes me think what the film would have been like if Ormsby was kept for the film. I mean the title originally had more to do with the plot in the movie, but that idea was scraped, yet they decided to keep the name.
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The movie follows a young film student Maggie, whose class decide to throw a Horror movie marathon at this old abandoned theater, the Dreamland. The theater is actually The Ward Theater in Jamaica; In fact the whole movie was shot in Jamaica, which explains the fact the music is mainly reggae/ska. The music is alright and I felt it worked nicely, but a it is a bit strange to hear during a horror film. Meanwhile Maggie is having strange nightmares which consist of images of a old man, sacrifices and shades of blue. The class goes and starts to fix up the theater and this is where the fun begins in the film as the group montages away. They decorate the theater with vintage film posters, a clock that is a skeleton that shrieks when a movie is about to start, and all sorts of other crazy stuff. The movies they show are not actual movies, to my disappointingly( I would love to see the full versions of those films). The first film is "The Mosquito", about a Mosquito turned giant flying creature by Radiation. The film plays out like a old B atom age horror film; and it looks pretty awesome to boot. It shows off one of my favorite deaths in the film, which is man drained alive by head puncture. The next film is "The Amazing Electrified Man", about a man who takes a experimental chemical to keep him alive when he goes to the electric chair. Then its "The Stench", a Japanese movie(And the only in color) about a killer odor. Last, but not least is the film "Possessor" a strange surreal film created by Lanyard Gates, psycho film maker and cultist. Each of these movies have great William Castle inspired gimmicks. "Nurses" with certificates that state if people in the audience die of fright, the people behind the horrorthon are not responsible. This is inspired by William Castle's gimmick he had for his film "Macabre". Another is giant fake mosquito that flies over the audience(and helps build the body count); this is inspired by William Castle's glow-in-the-dark skeleton that would fly over the audience during the movie "House On Haunted Hill". Along with the Mosquito, the movie is also made in 3-D. They also use the seat buzzers from the "Tingler" for "The Amazing Electrified Man", and stink gas for "the Stench", which just reminded me of Odorama from Polyester.
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The Film Students consist of Maggie(Main character), Toby, Tina, Leon, Bud, Joannie, Cheryl, and their Teacher Mr. Davis. The students are the typical group of teens, the slut, the black one, the dumb ass and you even get one who's in a wheel chair! He sorta reminds me of Franklin from Texas Chainsaw Massacre a bit. Well while setting up for the event, they stumble upon a movie called "Possessor". The film was created by Lanyard Gates a cultist film maker who had killed his family during a showing of his film "Possessor" movie. The theater then burned down with Gates in it. The movie seems to be the same as the dreams shes been having and watching it causes her to pass out. She then tells her aunt Suzanne hears of this and decides to go to the theater to see if Lanyard is back; There she is attacked and taken out of the picture for the moment. It then goes into the event, which looks pretty awesome. The theater fills with costumed people, including some really cool costumes like the guy with a second head. This is when things start going wrong as someone is killing off the group of students one by one. The deaths are pretty interesting, not a lot of blood, but they are pretty entertaining and original. You have people impaled by Mosquitoes, Gassed in a stall, electrocuted, and sliced. Is it Lanyard back to finish what he started or something else?

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I really did like the designs and the idea of the film, I had a lot of fun watching it and would watch it again. I put this film above Scream, which a lot of people might disagree with. I also got to say how cool the villain actually is, hes really over the top and looks(in my opinion) great. He reminds me a bit of Freddy mixed with Henry Jarrod. The film does have its flaws though, not a lot of blood, some story elements are shown then thrown out completely, which could be remnants from the original movie story. The acting isn't that good either, and theres some terrible lines. I still like it though, its kinda like Pieces, yeah its horrible, but that's what makes it better! I'm not sure if the film is on DVD, I saw it on Netflix's Instant Watch, and I don't believe you can rent it. So unless you catch a old copy, download it, watch it on Netflix, or some bootleg copy, you wont be able to see the film. In fact, after this I'm going to go check some sites for the DVD, I really want to own it.

Overall:
Gore:3.5/5
Cheese:3/5
Villain:4/5
Body Count: 5
Best Scene: The Mosquito killing a man in the movie "The Mosquito", and Toby's death

4 Out Of 5
Poster:
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Alternate Titles:
Phantom of the Cinema
Skinner
Cineman kummitus

Friday, November 6, 2009

Victor B. Demented

Trailer:

___"Victor Juliet's Director's cut"(2009)___

Directed by:
Victor Juliet
Starring:
Victor Juliet
Peter Thomas
Rachel Ward
Tag Lines:
"Thrill to the excitement of Zombies! Vampires! Lesbians!"

You know my friends, you could learn a good lesson from Mr. Juliet here; HE SENDS ME MOVIES! The fact the guy sent it for free makes it great already, but the fact the movie is actually really good helps a lot. I have to do a quick apology for taking so long to review the film. I was busy, and put it off, but my conscious got to me and here I am reviewing it. Now this movie is by Victor Juliet, who I met from the movie site spill.com (A great review site). He asked me if I care to review his film, and who takes down a free movie? So before Victor Juliet comes over here himself to confront me on his film, lets get to the review. The movie follows Victor Juliet, a independent horror filmmaker who uses Guerrilla style film making. No permits, no rules, no regrets for this film maker, using hobos as crew and killing actual people for the sake of his art.
The movie is a low budget indie film by Fiendish Films and Victor Juliet. The movie is broken up into 5 acts, the first two about the short film "Will Work For Food". One being the short film, and the second being a documentary about the making of the film. The rest follow Victor Juliet and his crew making the films "Grave Site 2" and "Wrath of the Necromancer". This leads to a pretty interesting set up for a film, having a movie within a movie along with a few other movies also in it. The characters are Victor(Director), Rachel Ward(Actress and assistant), James(Actor, and part of the body count) and Peter Thomas (Assistant, shoots shit). The second act, "Will Direct For Food" is set up like a documentary and my favorite act, and one of the funniest. Its got a lot of good humor and fills you in about who the character's are and how that first act came to be. The rest follow the group as they make "Grave Site 2" and respond to a review of it.
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First act is a short about a homeless bum by the name of James. Hes standing by the road with a sign that says "Will Work For Food". A man by the name of Adam picks him up by the side of the road and takes him to his house. There he feeds James some food and tells him the job he has. He announces to James that he has a dead person in his basement, and his job is to help him dispose of the body. James accepts and he goes down into the basement with him. There he is surprised to find there is no one dead in the basement.You can fill in the rest...This is a pretty interesting opening, and the story is pretty good. Though I did catch the ending a bit early, its still a good twist. The second act, "Will Direct For Food" is set like a documentary about the making of "Will Work For Food". The next act is called "Call Back", this is about Sara Bellinger. Sara was called back for a audition for Victor's new horror film "Wrath Of The Necromancer". She is picked up by Peter and taken to the set; there she is shackled to a wall and killed by a actor named Bruce. This one is a bit slow, but there is a bit of gore and shows what Victor is willing to do to make a film. The next act is "Test Screening", this is about Victor making a deal with some dealers of a special serum that kills anyone who drinks it, and turns them into a fucked up looking zombie. They test it out on Bruce, and after vomiting a large amount of blood, he turns into a zombie. Victor decides to use this serum to help make their film Grave Site 2, the sequel to his movie Grave Site. They get the movie done, and a reviewer by the name of
Abigale Smith gets a hold of the film. Abigale is a reviewer and like the back of the case promotes, a lesbian. She writes a scathing review of the film which just so happens to get to Victor Juliet himself. This irks him so badly that he decides to confront her himself. This leads to a pretty awesome fight scene with samurai swords and a clever debate on reviewing and film making. Abigale then does away with Victor. This is what I always say, yes Swords are cool weapons..But guns are so much more effective. I mean yes it would have made the fight very short, but he probably would have survived. But for the sake of entertainment, it works well. The movie ends with Abigale and other fellow reviewers talking about what if they killed off bad film makers they deemed horrible? The movie ends pretty open and leaves you wanting to see exactly what this group ends up doing after the film. The idea of a vigilante group of reviewers murdering movie directors is a very interesting idea. I personally wouldn't do it, because without these bad film makers id be reviewing stuff like The Godfather and Citizen Kane, and who cares about those films!?
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In the end I was surprised, exactly how good the film was. I had my doubts at first, but after watching it, I can say I liked it. The acting was decent, I didn't want to judge it too much, but my favorite actors are Victor and his crew. I liked the second and last two acts a lot, but I felt it went a too slow during the first and third act. After seeing this, I feel like I could watch this film again and still be as entertained. I'll have to go check out their series called "the Fiends", which I have yet to watch. If you want to see a interesting film about demented film makers, then check this film out. I'm looking forward to seeing more from Mr. Juliet. So in conclusion, all I have to say is...Absolutely Splendid.
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You can buy the film here


Overall:
Gore:3/5
Cheese:3/5
Villains:4/5
Scares:3/5 I did jump once during James's transformation
Favorite Part: The making of Will Work For Food

4 out of 5

Poster:
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Links:
http://www.myspace.com/fiendishfilms

Thursday, November 5, 2009

My Extremely Belated Comic Con Video

Finally got to actually finishing this, and I'm happy with what I got here.


The people here in order of appearance is...
Louden Noxious (Kaiju Big Battel)
Mike Nelson and d Bill Corbett (With Kevin Murphy in the background) (Rifftrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000)
Bill Moseley (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, The Devil's Rejects, House of 1000 Corpses)
Count Gore De Vol (Horror Host, Creature Feature)
John E. Hudgens (American Scary)
Mr. Lobo (Horror Host, Cinema Insomnia)
Reporter
Crew of "House Of The Wolfman" and Leslie Andrews From Sick Girl(2007)
Mega 64
Lloyd Kaufman (Troma)
Jason Johnson (Dr. Tran, Lone Sausage)
Unemployed Skeletor
Torgo (Manos: The Hands Of Fate)
Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt (Mighty Boosh)
Kane Hodder (Friday The 13th series, Hatchet)
And a song done by Louden Noxious and the Beav of Kaiju Big Battel done while waiting for the free show they put on during Comic Con.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Same Old, Same Old

Trailer:
_____"Scream"(1996)____

Directed by:
Wes Craven
Starring:
(Sidney Prescott)Neve Campbell
(Deputy Dewey Riley)David Arquette
(Gale Weathers)Courteney Cox
(Billy Loomis)Skeet Ulrich

Tag Lines:
"Don't Answer The Phone. Don't Open The Door. Don't Try To Escape."
"Someone has taken their love of scary movies one step too far. Solving this mystery is going to be murder."
"Someone's Taken Their Love Of Scary Movies One Step Too Far!"
"Make Your Last Breath Count."
"Now someone is victim and someone is a suspect"
"From The First Name In Suspense Comes The Last Word In Fear"
"Don't Answer The Door, Don't Leave The House, Don't Answer The Phone, But Most Of All, Don't SCREAM."
"Now everybody is a victim and everybody is a suspect!"

Its the night after Halloween and all I have to say is Bah Humbug. Not sure if that term relates but who cares, this pisses me off. While I love Wes Craven, just like most horror fans; I mean, the man has given us so many great films! The Hills Have Eyes, People Under The Stairs, Nightmare On Elm St. and Last House On The Left. I mean, I freaking love the shit out of the Hills Have Eyes, I really do, I think its an amazing film, but then you get the occasional Shocker in the midst of the great films. I really, really dislike this film. I can see what exactly hes trying to do, but he could have done it much better. He's pretty much saying to us "Hey, I know/like horror movies, but let me prove how much I know/like them!" The movie is trying to play off the stereotypes of slasher films, and make fun of them; but in the end just ends up being the biggest one in the end. Now the killer, Ghostface; and not the guy from the Wu Tang Clan.
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The design is that of like a Ghost, or the Grim Reaper, and the mask is from the classic painting Edvard Munch's The Scream. The costume is now more commonly known as that costume you see on some kid every damn year during Halloween. The costume is pretty generic, which is why I don't like it too much, but it works for what it is. The killer usually calls his victims and, as you see in the beginning of this film. This is where I started to get annoyed by the movie. In the beginning of the film, Ghostface is terrorizing teenager Casey Becker, played by Drew Barrymore. He pulls a Black Christmas and calls her and as the conversation goes on, the more sinister it gets until finally hes threatening her and has her boyfriend hostage. He determines if they live by some horror movie trivia. Why horror trivia, Is it needed? Well the questions are the basics about horror movies, and he stumps her with the Friday The 13th question. The movie is pretty much a horror fan gone insane. Now lets get to the plot, the movie follows Sydney Prescott, a girl who's mother was raped and murdered. She is the main target of Ghostface who attacks her one night when her father is away on Business. She believes her boyfriend Billy Loomis did it, and he is taken to jail. The next night she stays with her friend Tatum, played by Rose McGowan who was Cherry Darling in Planet Terror; and her brother police officer Dwight "Dewey" Riley. That night she gets another call from the killer, which cant be Billy who's in jail. Sydney also has to deal with Gale Weathers, a news reporter who is reporting on her attack, and has written a book on her mom's murder/rape. apparently her mother was killer by a guy named Cotton Weary. Because of the deaths school is canceled, and the Principal played by Henry Wrinkler is killed. Meanwhile Tatum's boyfriend Stu Macher throws a party with Sydney, Billy, Randy and more people. Randy is the film buff of the group and probably one of the most annoying characters because of the fact hes a film buff. The scene where hes talking about Halloween is just annoying. Billy and Sydney have sex and reconcile. The body count starts to grow as Tatum is murdered by Ghostface in the garage getting beer. Gale, with help from Dewey who has a crush on her looking goes to the party and hides a camera in the house to see if they get any scoops and spy on Sydney and the rest.
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The people at the party get word of the death of the principal, and most of them go off to the school. The killer then kills a cameraman and hurting the rest of the gang. Sydney confused on who the killer is locks Stu and Randy out of the house. Billy falls down from the stairs, and Randy is let in claiming Stu is insane, and is shot by Billy. Its then reveled that that Billy and Stu are both the killer and they have been using a voice machine to make them sound like one person. They also reveal that they killed Sydney's mom and framed Cotton for it. Their plan is to kill Sydney and frame her father for it. Why they killed her mom in the first place I cant remember, but who needs an explanation. They then start to injure each other to make it look like they were attacked, and like a dumb ass, Billy cuts Stu too deeply and mortally wounds him. Gale comes to the rescue and Sydney sneaks away and comes back dressed as ghost face and kills Stu. Billy is injured and is shot by Gale. Billy springs to life once more and is shot again in the head.
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Now, the movie has a list of rules that you have to follow to survive a horror film. Those rules are mainly said by Randy in his movie related babblings and those are
1.)You can never have sex.
2.)You can never drink or do drugs
3.)Never, ever, EVER, under any circumstances say "I'll be right back", 'cause you won't be back.
Some more used in the trailer, which were
Don't answer the phone
Don't open the door
Don't try to hide
Don't scream
These rules play on the cliches of horror movies. The movies main problem is theres nothing original about the film. It makes so many references, and homages to older horror films, but doesn't do anything original. There isn't any memorable kills, the characters are very unlikable and the movie just pisses me off. I will give it to Craven, the Red Herrings are solid and the twist is pretty good. If I want to see a modern slasher film that has homages to early horror films and has a strange twist at the end I will watch the next film I'm gonna review. But, if your a Wes Craven fan, I would give this a rent, its not worth buying though. I'm also pretty certain I'm not gonna watch any of the sequels ever. For a slasher film it doesn't work well, and for a Craven film its not his worst, but not his best.

Overall: Gore:3/5 Good blood, no memorable kills.
Villains:3/5 The idea of two killers is a good one, but the villain is very unoriginal and dull.
Nudity:0/5 I don't think there is any nudity, at lest I don't remember any, which I'm gonna be honest, would have probably helped the film.
Best Scene: Where Billy hits Stu with the phone

3 out of 5
Poster:
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Quotes:
" Ow! You fuckin' hit me with the phone, dick! "