Kung-fu Khristmas Day 2

Trailer:

____"Riki-Oh: Story Of Ricky"(1991)____

Directed by:
Lam Ngai Kai

Starring:
(Riki-Oh)Siu-Wong Fan
(Assistant Warden)Mei Sheng Fan
(Warden Sugiyama)Ka-Kui Ho

Alternate Titles:
Story of Ricky
King of Strength

On the "second" day of Kung-Fu Khristmas, my DVD store brought to me, one incredibly gory movie. This is probably one of the goriest films I have ever seen, and probably one of my favorite bad movies. Riki-Oh is a brutal gore and action packed movie that never has a dull moment. I consider it a forgotten gem, and I'm really happy that I could get myself a copy of this awesome film. I first heard of the film from spill.com . I decided to look it up and after seeing a few clips I knew right away I had to own this film. This film is just bad ass, I've never seen a kung-fu film, or action film so fucked up and crazy as this. But with all this crazy shit going on in the film, it manages never to get too serious, and it gives off a very fun vibe and has a great amount of humor. Its actually pretty strange I liked this film so much, because I'm not a big fan of a lot of Japanese gore films, like the Tokyo shock films(speaking of Tokyo Shock, they released this on DVD). They just don't have that feeling that you get from watching Story of Ricky. Its based on a Japanese comic by the same name, created by Masahiko Takajo and Saruwatari Tetsuya. Ive seen a bit of the comic, and its worth checking out, close to the film and incredibly Gore with some good art. It goes on a bit more then the film did and the plot is slightly different. The film was one of the first to gain a level/category 3 rating in Hong Kong, basically meaning no one younger than 18 can get the film. This was just for its gore, since there is basically no nudity(aside from a ass shot in a early scene).


The movie is set in 2001 in a futuristic world where all government institutions have been privatized, including prisons. It follows Riki-Oh, a man sentenced for man slaughter after killing a man(In the comic, the man isn't killed). Riki is a freaking bad ass, what do expect from a man who has bullets stuck in him, that he called souvenirs. You later find out he did this because the man is responsible for the death of Riki's girlfriend as shown in flash backs. The prison he's at is run by the dangerous Gang of Four, each of the four run a different area of the prison. They are hired by the evil warden Sugiyama to control the prisoners. After a incident with a man trying to get Parole to see his family dying because of a prison leader named Oscar and his goons, Riki decides to get rid of all the evil in the prison, one person at a time. Riki-Oh, quickly kills off a few men a truly horrible fashion(a disemboweling, and a punch right through the gut.). Word of this gets to the assistant warden, a fat man with a hook hand and a fake eye that dispenses mints(Yes, mints.). The Assistant warden then orders Oscar to kill of Riki. This plan obviously fail and Oscar is done away with. This fight has some great scenes, like Riki sewing his tendons back together, and Oscar choking Riki with his own intestines. After this, the Gang of Four make their presence, and the famous head smashing scene is shown.

This made famous by the daily show. I don't want to give away too much of the film, because its really worth it to go in not knowing much. I will say something about the ending. Think the lawn mower scene in Dead Alive, but turn that lawn mower on its back and there you go. I really recommend this film with all of my heart, its really a classic. If you call yourself a fan of Gore films, kung fu, exploitation, horror, or bad films, this is a definite must see. Everything is awesome, from the massive porno collection in the assistant warden's office, to a prisoner singing "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones while getting off the toilet. Its Dead Alive with Kung Fu. If you cant find the film at your local video store, I just so happened to find the full film uploaded here on Google.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=417949348888674336#
Enjoy.


Overall:
Gore:5/5
Cheese:5/5
Fights:5/5
Nudity:2/5
Dubbing:5/5
Favorite Scene: Favorite would be the fight with Tarzan.

5 out of 5

Poster:

Quotes:
"You'll die mutilated today!"

Kung-Fu Khristmas day 1

Trailer:

____"The Game Of Death"(1978)____

Directed by:
Robert Clouse
Sammo Hung
Bruce Lee

Starring:
(Billy Lo)Bruce Lee
(Ann Morris)Colleen Camp
(Dr. Land)Dean Jagger
(Jim Marshall)Gig Young
(Also Billy Lo)Biao Yuen and Tai Chung Kim

Its December, so that can only mean one thing; Kung-Fu movies. Well at lest this year. I recently got a hold of a ton of martial arts films and I decided to do this Christmas differently then you would usually expect from a site like this. Instead of reviewing movies like Black Christmas and Silent Night, Deadly Night, I'm going to review Kung-Fu films. So welcome to the first day of "Kung-fu Khristmas".

Today I chose a film by a person we've talked about a bit here, but never really reviewed any of his movies. We tackled Brucesploitation with Bronson Lee, Champion and Fist Of Fear, Touch Of Death, but its about time to review a film he's actually in...Well for the most part. The film I'm talking about is The Game Of Death. This possibly being one of the worst Bruce Lee films I've seen. This isn't necessarily Bruce's fault, though he plays major role in why the film is bad.
The film originally was going to be Bruce's time to show off his Kung-Fu Jeet Kune Do. Though because of his death, his plans for the film were changed. In the original plot for the film, Bruce was Hai Tien a retired champion fighter who must save his brother and sister who have been kidnapped by a Koren gang and taken to a Pagoda. Each level of the Pagoda has a different fighter with different styles. Well instead of that the plot of the movie instead follows Billy Lo a martial arts movie star who faces a racketeering syndicate. So pretty much they took the footage they had, built up a new story, filmed new material and put it together with the pre-existing footage to make what we have today as being the Game Of Death. This new plot was created by director Robert Clouse. Robert Clouse being the man who brought us another famous Bruce Lee film Enter the Dragon. He also made other films such as Black Belt Jones, Gymkata, and The Big Brawl. Other people who helped direct the film are Bruce Lee himself, and Sammo Hung. Sammo Hung a famous fight coordinator and Martial Arts star himself. Sammo helped with the fight choreography for the Robert Clouse parts.

The film opens up weird, having a James Bond like opening credits featuring footage of Bruce from his other films. I guess the film must take place during his filming of Way Of The Dragon, since you can see Bruce fighting Chuck Norris at the beginning. Though when the director says cut, Chuck disappears suddenly from the scene. Chuck, though never actually being in the film was credited as being in it. Chuck then threatened to sue if they didn't take his name off the credits. The plot, like I said is about Billy Lo a martial arts movie star who gets caught up in a racketeering scheme by a evil syndicate lead by Dr. Land played by Dean Jagger. They threaten Billy and his girlfriend Ann, and eventually shoot Billy during the filming of one of his films. Ann played by Colleen Camp, who had a pretty good career after the film.

Billy is then hospitalized and fakes his death in order to start his payback against the Syndicate. The whole plot is obviously reflecting on Bruce Lee's real death and is in pretty bad taste, especially the funeral service. Billy then goes after the Syndicate in various disguise such as Billy with a mustache, and Billy as a old Chinese man. Meanwhile Ann his girlfriend is dealing with Billy's death badly and nearly tries to shoot the leaders of the syndicate only to be stopped by Billy. The whole plot is really dull and you could really skip to the fights and really not miss much. It drags on, and it never really gets good till after Billy fakes his death and the action starts to build up. Eventually Billy makes his way to a pagoda where he battles various fighters on the different levels of the pagoda to get to Dr. Land. One being Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and probably the best fight of the film. Not to say the other fights are not good as well. The only saving grace of the film are that the fights are pretty damn good. If you haven't watched the film, you've seen the suit before. This movie has Bruce Lee in his now iconic yellow jump suit. In the film he gets it during the fight against the motor cycle assassins. The suit is constantly referenced in other Kung-Fu films and in pop culture. Most notable for the Kill Bill films. While not being Bruce's best film, it isn't necessarily that bad. I would recommend seeing the film if only for the fight scenes. In fact I disappointingly think that Bronson Lee, Champion is a better then this film.

I got the film in a box set of Bruce Lee films, and in the box set it also had a sequel called the Game Of Death 2. While I have yet to watch the film, one could only wonder what they did to make that a possibility. If your a fan of Bruce Lee or Kung-Fu your probably gonna end up seeing this, but I would advise just skipping to the fights.

Overall:
Gore:3/5
Action:4/5
Cheese:3/5
Best Scene:Dr. Land falling off the Pagoda. That had me rolling in laughter.

3 out of 5

Poster:




Quote:
"One rebel begats another. It's the Billy Lo syndrome."
"A venereal disease. Often terminal. "

Bruce Is Turning In His Grave..

___"Fist Of Fear, Touch Of Death"(1980)___

Directed by:
Matthew Mallinson

Starring:
Fred Williamson
Ron Van Clief
Adolph Caesar
(Himself and Kato)Bill Louie
Aaron Banks

Taglines:
"The 3 Greatest Masters! Bruce Lee, Fred Williamson, Ron Van Clief"

This movie is stupid. I'm angry that I spent one dollar on this piece of shit. First, this isn't a Bruce Lee movie, as much as it wants you to believe it is. This was made 7 years after his death, and is a mockumentary on Bruce Lee and a event on finding a successor of Bruce Lee. So why is Bruce Lee credited in this film? Well because they constantly use stock footage of Bruce and re dub it. This is barley a movie, this is just a bunch of bullshit. The only parts that were actually filmed for the film were the segments with Adolph Caesar, Fred Williamson, Bill Louie, Ron Van Clief, Aaron Banks, and the fights in Madison Square Garden. I would have thought that they just invaded some event and started filming real people fighting..If one of the first fights you see has a man getting his eyeballs ripped out. Now all those people I mentioned play themselves in the film, except for Bill Louie who plays Kato in one part of the film. Most of the actors arnt even in the film that much except Adolph Caesar who does interviews and narrates the event and film.




Lets look at some of the cast here. This is the first film of Matthew Mallinson, who produced another film I reviewed here called "Don't Go Into The House". He went on make the films Unmasking the Idol, Caged Fury, Chameleon Street, and a few more. It stars Fred Williamson, Football player and Blaxsploitation star. You might know him from the Black Cobra series, or his role in From Dusk Till Dawn. You might also know the voice of Adolph Caesar from the trailer of From Dusk Till Dawn. The plot of the film...There really isn't one. At first you might think this is a mystery/action film on the death of Bruce Lee. They say Bruce was killed by a technique called the touch of death. The idea of it it loosely used throughout the film and really isn't the major plot point of the film. The main plot of the film is a fictional dramatization of Bruce Lee's life through use of footage from other shows/movies and redubbing them. Only 10 percent of the film is new material. They use clips from the 1950's film "Thunderstorm" in the segments about Bruce as a young man, and his family who doesn't accept his dreams of being a black belt. Throughout this they constantly make reference to Bruce's great grandfather who was a famous Samurai. Samurai's being Japanese, Bruce being Chinese. They use clips from a Chop Socky film called "the Invincible Super Chan". I found it funny that the clips with Bruce and his "family" are in black and white, and the clips of his "Grandfather" are in color. There really isn't much to say about this stuff it takes up most of the movie and its just bullshit. Now lets get to the stuff they actually shot. Theres one short segment with Fred Williamson having him wake up and get a ride to Masion Square Garden. This is a dull scene and all I got from it is never call Fred Williamson Harry Belafonte. Then theres the part with Ron Van Clief which is short and has him saving a girl from being raped. Another segment was a re-enactment of Bruce Lee as Kato, and once again has girls being almost raped. I'm pretty sure the girl from the Ron Van Clief segment shows up again in the Kato scene. In it Bill Louie is Kato, a mustache adorned Kato. Come on Bill you really could have shaved it off. He is no where close to being on the level of Bruce and just comes off as silly.


The movie's ending pissed me off a bit. I thought Fred, Ron and Bill were going to fight in Madison Square Garden, but no luck. You don't even see Ron and Bill there, you just get the occasionally shot of Fred Williamson looking at the ring. The film ends with just a normal fight between two people I've never heard of. I'm not sure if the winner is going to be the next Bruce Lee, or if theres still more fights to come. Honestly I don't really care. This is a terrible movie, and probably one of the worst Brucesploitation films you can find. I would have rather seen some guy pretending to be Bruce then this. Its one of worst movies I've ever seen and is a disgrace to Bruce Lee.


Overall:
Cheese:5/5
Action:2/5
Gore:1/5
Best Scene:Guy rips out a mans eyes and Bill Louie as a very lame Kato.

1 Out Of 5

Poster:




Alternate Titles:
The Dragon and the Cobra

Main Course

_____"Blood Freak"(1972)____

Directed by:
Brad F. Grinter
Steve Hawkes

Starring:
(Herschell)Steve Hawkes
(Angel)Heather Hughes
(Ann)Dana Cullivan

Taglines:
"Only the blood of drug addicts can satisfy the thirst of the blood freak monster!"
"A Dracula On Drugs!"

Well while you can get quite a few horror movies for Christmas and Halloween, thanksgiving is a little harder. But there are a few out there available for your unfortunate viewing "pleasure". I picked, what I believe is the oldest. Blood Freak, not to be mistaken with Blood Feast. Now, theres only one way to go about a horror movie like this, mutant turkey. Oh, but that's not all, Blood Freak goes the distance by also having Jesus and Drugs! I'm gonna be honest here, this movie makes no fucking sense, its felt like watching a insane fever dream induced by Turkey Overdose! I mean, this is probably one of the weirdest, and worst films I have ever seen. The weird thing is, its so crazy and bad I kind of like it for some reason. Now lets just jump right into Blood Freak.

The only child of Ex-Tarzan actor Steven Hawkes, who directed, starred and wrote the film. His partner in crime is Brad F. Grinter who directed Devil Rider! and Flesh Feast, another horrible movie. The film, from what I can tell from the main character and name is a homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis, the godfather of gore. The film opens with a monologue by who I believe is Brad F. Grinter. The guy just rambles from time to time, and really doesn't do anything. Why does he know this story? Why is he there? Shouldn't Herschell be telling it? Oh well. The guy kinda reminds me of Bela Lugosi in Glen or Glenda. Herschell is a Vietnam vet who picks up a girl by the name of Angel. Angel is a goody two shoes. She and Herschell go to her house, where her sister Ann is throwing a party with a bunch of druggies. Angel takes him there and tells him not to take any drugs. Who takes a person to a drug party to not do drugs? Better question is who goes to a drug party just to read the Bible to people!? This is where the Jesus element comes in as Angel is very religious. Ann on the other hand is planning on hooking Herschell and having him all for herself. How does she go about it? She calls him a coward and next thing you know he's sky high and getting in her pants.

Herschell was set up with a job at a turkey farm by Angel, there he is subjected to a experimental drug turkey. After eating it, Herschell goes into convulsions and turns into A TURKEY HEADED MUTANT BLOOD FREAK! Yep, hes no Dracula, just a fucked up looking Turkeyman. Hershell goes to Ann and writes her a note explaining his situation. This is when the film takes a strange turn and I lose track of whats happening. Herschell wanders off and kills various drug addicts in some shack that suddenly appeared. He craves the blood of drug addicts Something I noticed, There is one scream recorded for every person, but its just repeated. This, the music and just the look of this film make me feel sick. I can imagine watching this while on drugs. He is then attacked by some guy who cuts his head off; then the film cuts to a turkey/chicken without a head running around. Herschell is then found without a turkey head in the woods. He is going through withdrawals and having a breakdown, but he is saved by JESUS! Yes, Jesus saves the day. The film ends with Herschell and Ann at the beach.

This movie is fucked up, makes no sense, boring and painful at times. Yet I had fun watching this fucked up movie. The film, while not as bad as Billy The Kid Vs. Dracula, is worse then Manos: The Hands Of Fate. I want to thank horror host Jebediah Buzzard for posting the whole film up, without your video, I wouldn't be able to review this.


Overall:
Gore:3/5
Cheese:5/5
Monster:3/5
Nudity:2/5
Best Scene: Turkey killing drug addicts and drinking their blood.

1.5 out of 5

Poster:

Happy Thanksgiving

Heres some appetizers for you on this day of thanksgiving, the main course will be coming later.

Thanksgiving by Eli Roth(2007)


Thankskilling(2009)


Blood Freak(1972)


Poultrygeist(2006)

Near Greatness

Trailer:

____"Tokyo Zombie"(2005)___

Directed by:
Sakichi Satô

Starring:
Tadanobu Asano
Shô Aikawa

No tag lines for this one, why? well..I cant read Japanese. On the back of the movie its proclaimed as the Japanese Shaun Of The Dead, and it nearly is. I believe I first head of this from Rue Morgue magazine, then saw it on Netflix a few times. Later on I saw it and bought it for the ghastly price of $19.95. It looked interesting with a nice looking cover that really grabs you. Ive been wanting to see a new, good zombie comedy, and this looked pretty good to go with but I was kinda reluctant. I like Asian films, but because of the recent Tokyo Shock Films which are kinda like Troma to me. I like some of their films but most of them I just don't like at all. Though I would rather see the Toxic Avenger then Tokyo Gore Police. I decided to give it a shot and...Well, I'm kinda angry.

First off the beginning is great, I love the dubbing and the look of the characters. Their silly, fun, and great characters. The voices are perfect for how they look and the voice actors of Fujio and Mitsuo are perfect. It was a interesting idea going with a Jiu Jitsu take on zombie fighting, worked well. The zombies looked pretty good, never really looked cheap. The way they come of being is a bit silly, but acceptable. Like Zombieland, the movie is very light, which is surprising for a zombie film. I would even say this is lighter then Zombieland. There is not a lot of guts and gore, except for a few scenes; and that's where the film peeves me a bit. Now, I hate CGI, especially when it comes to gore. I think its just lazy, and theres a certain scene near the middle of this where it pisses me off every time. Its during the zombie fights where one of the zombies punches a whole in a wrestler. The effect they went with looks horrible as its clearly fake looking. But, its not only fake looking but I would go as far as to say it looked plain ugly. The main reason I'm saying this is probably because of the fact I had recently watched the film Story Of Ricky which shows what a impaling by fist should look like! Besides that the film takes a bad turn by the middle and really slows down. Personally I think that was a bad idea to go about it. You lose one of the main characters and it loses its pacing and the feeling you have gained watching the main characters Fujio and Mitsuo. I would have just erased the whole zombie fights stuff and the stuff with the condos and the humans. Instead I would have kept it just being about Fujio, Mitsuo and Yoko(I believer her name in the movie is) wandering about trying to survive the zombie holocaust. But aside from all that the ending kinda brings it up again and it ends pretty good.

Now lets get to the plot of this. The film follows Fujio and Mitsuo slackers and proud of it. They spend their day at, what I believe is a Warehouse practicing Jiu Jitsu. One day one of their superiors vents his anger out on Mitsuo and is killed by Fujio by accident. Our heroes decided to dump the body in Black Mount Fuji. Black Mount Fuji is a giant mountain of waste dumped by various people and company's that have formed a mountain so large it actually has snow at the peak. As you see in it, people are buried there, dead and alive. There the two come across Fujio's old teacher. The teacher burying the dead body of one of his students with his pants down, obviously he had molested him(and it pretty much says Fujio had also been molested) The flash back of it had my favorite quote which is (Paraphrasing)"Fro's are not allowed in my classroom!". Fujio then goes to town on the teacher with a shovel. Meanwhile the bodies of the people buried in Black Fuji have risen and want flesh! Soon the epidemic grows and Mitsuo watches a pretty strange news report about it. The doctor with the little puppet he pulls the head off of it probably one of my favorite characters in this. The film then goes into Fujio and Mitsuo trying to get to Russia to train in Jiu Jitsu. Along the way its revealed Mitsuo thinks he has Cancer. Thinks is the key word. The duo break up when Mitsuo is bitten while saving a girl(Who I believe) named Yoko. Mitsuo leaves and their wheels are taken. The film then goes ahead 5 years and this is when it really starts to go down hill. Its revealed that all the survivors have moved into a walled in area that is ruled upon by the rich, using the poor as slaves and entertainment. Zombie fights start up for entertainment, which is where we get to what happened to Fujio. He has become a rather unpopular zombie fighter and had a child with Yoko. This whole plot is just not that entertaining, mainly because it breaks the flow of the beginning and slows down way too much. The ending picks it up a bit but still doesn't do enough to save it. The more I think about it, the more I was disappointed about how it went about doing it. The soundtrack is great too, I would love to get it. I would see a sequel of this; especially after the ending. I like the characters and world, its just the film isn't as good as it could have been. Basically rent it; Unless its cheap, not worth spending big money on like I did.


Overall:
Gore:2/5
Music:4/5
Zombies:3/5
Cheese:2/5
Screams:2/5
Best Scene: Any scene between Fujio and Mitsuo

4 Out Of 5

(Would have been a 4.5 if it wasn't for the middle.)
Poster:

Lloyd The Zombie Ad

This is a 2.25" high original resin figure. It is hand casted and painted and limited to 40 pieces, signed and numbered.
Designed by Sam Arshawsky, it is the first of five figures from his "Soiree Of The Living Dead"series! He has a Necronomicon and a base with a cleaver. This is sculpted and painted by David Arshawsky, who worked on the early TMNT line, Turok, Skeleton Warriors, Toxie and Earthworm Jim! The toy is non-articulated.
$40.00 including shipping and handling. Comes in a cool COFFIN BOX!

(Click for link to painted figurine)
For Stained:
http://turtlemilkstudios.bigcartel.com/product/soiree-of-the-living-dead-m-u-c-s